Geriatric Rugby Mud Wrestlers

As a wild and windy typhoon swept through Shekou last night, rugbys finest honed their rugby skills in wet and muddy conditions.

It was interesting to note that the French contingent love “dirty play” as they took every opportunity to dirty up their jerseys.  We must presume they do this, as an explanation to wives and girlfriends for why they are drunk when they return home after training.

We saw some slick moves on the the rugby pitch last night with Herve and Brian combining for several old school tries. While it’s hard to image these two portly chaps scoring a try off anyone, fortunately there was an aging Aussie more portly than themselves who fell for their dummy, every single time. Senile dementia must have truly kicked in as Maher was not content with just being the victim of multiple dummy passes. He was the whipping boy for the whole French contingent last night, especially “Really Old Olivier” who body slammed him several times, into large deep muddy puddles. It’s a miracle Maher survived the continual onslaught, as Olivier pretty much ate all the food in France while there for the summer holidays.

The Tuia contingent were ever present with calls of “Hey Dad….” followed by a Tuia crossing the line for another try. At a post match team meeting it was decided that all Tuias must hop instead of running at training in the future.

Most people that don’t deal with the French on a daily basis would not be aware that every forth French person is called Olivier.  For business this is great as you don’t have to learn their names you just call everyone Olivier.  However on the rugby pitch it can be very confusing especially when half the team is French. The only way to counter the confusion is to shout out that you have found a new place to buy great Pate at good prices and “the Olivier” who has the ball, or is about to receive it, will get really confused and mess up the play.

Post match drinks occurred in the Snake Pit as usual with the hard as nails Shekou rugby team washing down Pate and Baguette with Pinot Gris and Shiraz Viognier.

Post match drinks continued on at “Really Old Oliviers” home or palace as it should more rightly be described, with lavish hospitality provided. Yves entertained everyone with his tap dancing while singing what one would imagine was an old French song about Napoleon and William the Conqueror who, if you believe the song, is actually Italian.

Olivier Faustini


2 Comments for “Geriatric Rugby Mud Wrestlers”

  1. After more than three days of sun, be prepared for a fast and sweaty session of touch rugby tonight. Nothing’s better than that to loose our extra pounds. And this time, no excuse for falling down over Marcus body. No more muddy waters, just the will to play and, unlike the English, to win beautifully.
    See you all tonight on the pitch.

  2. Olivier,

    You body slamming me into deep muddy puddles was a bit rough but when you used me as a surf board that really was too much. Looking forward to you loosing those extra couple of dozen pounds recently gained on your trip to France. I’m sure I read an article about famine in some southern French town must have been where you grew up. Well done though mate it can’t be easy to eat all the food in one town.


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